free funny life quotes: Funny Life Suck Quotes

Funny Life Suck Quotes Definition

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NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.
Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts....even if they don't stay in our lives.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means neve
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. \
Take it easy, give it hard.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
Everybody is a student for life.
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...
Regret lasts longer than fear.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
You know you're getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.